The Saturday Morning Closet

Recently, J. Crew came under media fire for an ad in which their president and creative director, Jenna Lyons, is depicted affectionately gazing at her son - who has just had his toenails painted pink. Beneath the photo a caption reads: “Lucky for me I ended up with a boy whose favorite color is pink. Toenail painting is way more fun in neon.”

While J. Crew treated the ad as a non-issue, almost all of the major news outlets not only helped to create but stir the argument that the advertisement was "blatant propaganda celebrating transgendered children."

Whether or not one personally believes that the ad purposefully blurred the “gender lines,” or looked to condone and promote a “homosexual life style” amongst children, gender and sexuality is a topic that is often called into question in media that is aimed at or involves children, whether the intent to create a sense of overt sexuality is there or not.

While the subject definitely pre-dates it, perhaps the most famous case of a character from “children's entertainment” being “exposed” as homosexual propaganda was in 1954 when Dr. Frederic Wertham proclaimed that Batman’s relationship with Robin was “like a wish dream of two homosexuals living together.” Furthermore, Wertham claimed that “the Batman type of story may stimulate children to fantasies.”

While both Batman’s sexuality and the effect of depicting it in the comics have been the subject of debate ever since, other characters, especially in the medium of television animation, have been dragged onto the battlefield of the (Trans)Gender War, that adults have been fighting in the name of children that they may or may not even have; and where a topic like this could be (and most likely is) the subject countless doctoral dissertations and media studies articles, often facts are left out of the discussion when examining the subjective nature of “behavioral studies,” or the need for a persecuted minority to identify with and idolize a media personality… even an animated one.

Here are three cases of retro-cartoon characters that have found lives as gay icons (in either a positive or negative sense), and a look at whether or not the truth was dragged out of the closet with them:



Prince Adam/He-Man

The pink-clad yet heavily muscled, effeminate sounding Adam raises a phallic symbol above his head to become the near nude, tanned, baritone powerhouse He-Man – who battles a lisping, cackling, embodiment of a “boner” (Skeletor.) That’s essentially the entire case of the “argument” if there is any, and while some members and advocates of the gay community (like the organizers of the LBGT art show “Skeletor Saves”) have embraced the seemingly insulting premise for proof of He-Man’s sexuality... It’s all rather flimsy at best.

The characterization of He-Man, as a fur bikini wearing sword handler, goes back to when the original toy line was being pitched as merchandising for Arnold Schwarzenegger’s original “Conan” movie. The concept of Adam and his transformation came when Filmation was brought on to help market the toys through animation. Originally meant to be a teenaged weakling in training who looked drastically different from his alter ego (as later depicted in the 2002 series), budgetary concerns forced the animation company to use the same physical model for Adam, requiring the writers and actor to differentiate the two personas by making Adam seem to be the exact opposite of the uber-masculine He-Man, thereby “feminizing” him.

As per the Clark Kent-Lois Lane-Superman dynamic, the writers tried to create a love triangle of un-requited crushes for Adam-Teela-He-Man, but that concept seems to get lost in the memories of fans who are more interested in seeing their heroes dance to club re-mixes of 4 Non Blondes songs.



(For more about the complete origins of He-Man, the homosexuality "debate" and how you can possibly debunk it at your next dinner party click over to a post that I wrote about the subject here.)


Velma Dinkley

Rumors of Velma’s lesbianism have been circulating since the 1969 premiere of “Scooby Doo, Where Are You?” Again, they’re based upon the flimsiest of suppositions – While Daphne and Fred were always seen as a “couple,” and Shaggy was deemed too immature to be sexual (or, even worse a zoophile), Velma was a smart, unattached woman with short-cropped hair… so, she must be a lesbian, right?

In the early 00s, creators of the live-action “Scooby-Doo” theatrical films managed to feed into that perception, by choosing to her portray her sexuality as “ambiguous” (according to actress Linda Cardellini – screenwriter James Gunn, however claims to be “pretty sure she’s gay.”)

However, her cartoon counterpart has recently taken definite steps toward “straightening” up: the current incarnation of the series “Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated” has Velma persuing a romantic relationship with Shaggy, who, much to the credit of those who cry bestiality on his part, is reluctant to get involved because of his attachment to Scooby.

Vanity Smurf

Well, even Nine Culliford, the original colorist for the comic strip series the Saturday morning cartoon was based on, has said that “Le Schtroumpf Coquet” (as he was originally known) was gay...

That’s right, in a 2008 interview Culliford, who was also married to The Smurfs creator Peyo, told Time Magazine: “Well, I did tell my husband that Vanity Smurf was like that, and he said, 'I never thought about it, but you're right'… Who knows? Maybe in a few years we'll be able to say something like that about him." (For clarification, Mrs. Culliford was speaking positively to a journalist about J.K. Rowling’s outing of Dumbledore, and that is the “that” to which she refers.)

There is a catch that can turn this into a quagmire: although technically “male,” the Smurfs are inherently asexual – they don’t reproduce (storks bring the babies) and there wasn’t even the concept of a female Smurf until Gargamel magically introduces one to the village. So to say that Vanity is “gay” leads to the implication that gay is a form of behavior more akin to a personality trait, than a form of sexuality.